Wonderful Graces

This is a journal I wrote January 7, 2013.

I write it after I read a John Piper Devotional based on Acts 14:22:
"Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God."

"We should not be surprised that God gives us wonderful graces in the midst of suffering that we had asked Him to spare us. He knows best how to apportion His grace for our good and for His glory." Piper

Piper always puts things so beautifully. We did indeed ask God to spare us this miscarriage--we wanted this baby so badly, but God knew better. He knows our desires for He gave them to us. But God knows what we need in this time--He knows how we need to trust Him more and desire for His will more than our own. Through this I do pray that God would be made known and glorified, though how yet, I do not know. Our hearts are sad and grieving.

My heart is also touched when Piper used "grace" in the plural form and that he described it as "wonderful." In the midst of our present suffering, God had certainly gifted us many graces. The foremost being salvation--Jesus who came to save and take our sin so that we can be pure before our Father. Other graces that have also blessed us recently include--God's love and immense comfort, His (our)church, encouraging friends and family, bosses that care, the ability to pray, purpose in suffering--to name a few [and in no particular order :)] Without God and these graces, I can't imagine what my thoughts would be like or how I would feel. Though deeply saddened, I am at peace, and though in pain I am comforted. I do not question this for I trust God's plan. But I do pray for a heart that is genuinely willing to accept whatever plan that will be.

Although I greatly desire to be a mother, I know that it is not the most important role for me to fill. I must focus on being an obedient and thankful daughter to our great King, and a loving and supportive wife to my incredible husband whom I do not deserve. I am deserving of non of these which gives me the reason to be all the more thankful as well as plenty of motivation to fulfill these roles  to my best with joy and thankfulness.

Fulfilling the role of a mother would be a gift; so until then, I wait, and ask you, Father, for the strength and right mind to complete the blessingS that you have so graciously placed before me.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for kmy power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that lthe power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 mFor the sake of Christ, then, nI am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. Forowhen I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10